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You may recall that I have a bit of a "thing" for lime trees, and am currently the proud parent of twins following the demise of "old faithful" after 20 years. The twins are probably about 2 or 3 years apart, with the one in the courtyard having a "trunk" about 3/4 inches wide, while Bearss #2 has one more than double that. In fact, #2 had a stake bigger than its trunk - and that just proved quite useful. #1 in the "courtyard" has flourished, with tender words, soap spray and shelter. #2 started wilting almost from the moment of planting. We watered it every day, but the leaves were curling and it was looking pretty sorry for itself. Yesterday I went into "last chance" mode and decided that I would ensure it was getting enought water by pulling out the (huge) stake and putting a water pipe in in its place. The plastic tube has an internal diameter of about 2 inches and is about 70 cm long. (Don´t worry, they still use a combination of imperial and metric for hardware in spain) - and that probably works out at a capacity of between one and a half and two litres (there I go again). Anway, we have refilled the tube a few times already and this morning I could see a change as the lower leaves were starting to recover. Now why the water applied in the "bund" around the tree is not getting through is a mystery. I soaked the "pit" that it was put in to before planting (which may prove to be the only thing that saved it), but for some reason the top watering is failing. I have often wondered whether tube-watering was a possibility - now I seem to have discovered that it does work. ** Dani the gardener, who is never short of an opinion, assumes that any expat has zero knowledge of anything to do with a garden (in fact anything at all) in Spain. When he came last week, he reckoned the tree hadn´t been planted deep enough and was all for digging lime#2 out and replanting it, until I pointed out that his idea was probably more traumatic than just adding more topsoil. (Me knowing that the roots which were showing had been pulled up by the removal of the stake). Anyway we compromised on more soil and some rocks. Now I have reinstalled the summer watering system, so the poor little tree will probably drown.

I believe that it was Jean-Paul Sartre himself who originally observed that "hell is other people" - and it was in his play "No Exit" that he created a situation with a group of people who thought they were together in an anti-room to hell, not realising that they were actually in hell and that the behaviour of the others was their torment. with thanks to the "Farside" .. I had heard of JPS, but never bothered getting into his work before, but now I realise I must have a better look at him. In a potted bio, I ran across another of his ideas, along the lines of something upon which I had been musing only recently. That was the concept that if you were able to free yourself of the "self" as one of the key concepts of liberation, what then actually drove this "self" you "left behind"? Sartre seemed to posit that the self was actually a reflection of what you believed other people saw in you. Hmm. Bad news (or not, depending on whether you give a tinkers cuss on what other´s think). I like to believe I am past caring, but know that in reality I probably do. Thus (huge leap), we are all actually a product of what we believe other people´s opinions (about us) are - and thus endorse those opinions with every action. This of course means I am not responsible for being whatever people think of me (and everyone else is tarred with my mental brush. As my brother once said of me "you seem to have a bad word for everybody". Possibly true, but I regard it as classical cynicism - as outlined by Antisthenes, then developed by Diogenes - but not quite to the extreme of living in a jar and giving away all my worldly possessions (let´s just call it reflected-cynicism and blame it on other people´s opinions)

The good news is that G managed to get her seconf vacccine yesterday. The bad news is the abso-bloody-lutely unbelievable shambles that is still unfolding at the vaccine centre. I had vaguely hoped that the previous experience at her first "jab", with long queues and delays, was down to "teething-problems" as they moved the vaccinations from three locations down to one. Wrong. It was actually worse yesterday. ... stand in the sun for 25 minutes before reaching the shade (but only for a while) G had an appointment for 11:01. How pointless is that when the only thing they seemingly use the appointment time for is to be able to find you on the computer. And if that is their only use for it, then they need to give the computer operators lessons in how clocks work. Once G eventually was seated and sleeve rolled-up, it took the girl about 3 or 4 minutes to find her (enough time for three other people to be vaccinated at the adjacent seat by the "jabber" who was handling two seats). She had her TIE number and card; she had her paper with her name, the appointment date and time. But said operator still pratted about on the system, while my needle-phobic wife went whiter and whiter.... Now if you look at that and think "well, that jabber was doing about 3 or 4 people in that time, so they are doing an average of about one person per minute - and that isn´t too bad", you´d be correct - however, there are about 7 or 8 of these "stations"with one jabber to two computer clerks in the "dance hall", so basic arithmetic says you should be processing about 480 people per hour - and that can´t be at all bad. Wrong. We joined a queue - which I estimated to be about 75 people strong - 25 minutes before our due time. 75 people should take about 10 minutes if all the stations are working at "peak". But that wasn´t the case and it actually took 75 minutes of waiting (so nearly 8 times as long as you might hope) Oh, and for half that time, the queue was having to stand out on the June sun (at about 27º in the shade). OK, I should mention that the queueing system is actually split into two lanes, one for Las Lagunas and one for the rest of Mijas. We only knew thai as we´d been there before, not from any assistance. Everyone was in the "rest" queue - and the very occasional Las Lagunas resident just walked past everyone and straight in. Now if I were charitable (and I am bloody not in these cases), I might say that half of the jabbing-bays were for the other (empty) queue. But that still means the workers on "our" queue should manage 240 per hour. Give them a 50% "slow rate" for their inability to use computers and that´s 120 per hour, thus a queue time of about half that we experienced. What the hell are they up to? Well, there was no one obviously in charge, just a couple of people on the door, telling people when to move forward to the "ready" area. No-one at the start of the queue to tell people which queue to use. No signage at the start of the queu to tell people which queue to use. No water or chairs. No help whatsoever. Oh, but a brilliant pair of signs toward the middle of the queuing area, showing arrows to the entrance (but in in opposite directions) In fact the queue management was so bad, that one of the door-dollies came out a couple of times and asked the people near the door whether the queue members were all "La Cala and the Pueblo". The odd poor sod from Las Luganas who had inadvertently got into the only visible queue, and which snaked back around near that entrance, might just hear and was then taken out and fast-tracked. No shade - well, not quite true. The queues were in shade for about 30 metres, but of course one queue was empty. There was space for another queue in the shade, but the exit-door dollies were sitting in that space. After ther shade, there was another 10 metres in the sun, before a couple of awning near the entrance door (presumably for the staff). There was one vague poiutive. While in that second sunny area, G was feeling hot enough for it to show and for the door person to tell her to move over to the the unused (yes, Las Lagunas) shadier side. Very solicitous, but she had previously shown more concern for a sodding dog that some moron had brought - and let the guy past the queue to get it some water for it. Bottom line should be "just be grateful for getting it done" We are - but that doesn´t stop me fuming at their sheer bloody incompetence PS, one thing they did to speed things up, which is totally different to what you see on tv, was that they had pre-filled all the syringes "off-line", so the nurse had a large box of them "ready to go" with non of the usual foreplay of sticking the syringe in the vial and flicking it to ensure full. . Good or bad thing, I don´t know. * one week later, and after a scathing letter (from a spaniard) in the local press, they seem to have found a bunch of very large sun-shades in their stores and put them up in the waiting zone. Not really for any clear reason now, as we went past yesterday at 1245 and there was no queue! This morning a pal called and said his wife had been to the medical centre in La Cala yesterday and they had offered her an immediate jab down in Las Lagunas - so they were actually in there getting it when we passed - and they confirmed they didn´t have to queue at all. Who know what is actually happening?

We have a yellowhammer somewhere nearby and I have seen it in the (absolute) tops of the fir trees - which seems to be one of the diagnostics for it - along with its song which is supposed to be "a liitle bit of bread but no cheeeeese"- but this one is missing the cheese (as are we, with the EU idiocy on dairy products, all we see in the brit shops is mountains of Irish cheddar). When I first saw the yellowhammer, it was in the top fronds opposite the lounge window and I at first thought it could be a sparrow in an unusual place, as its back is like a fancy sparrow with extra bars, but it was in such an unusual place I got the bins on it and when it turned around, wow!, beautiful yellow scarf and chest. Yesterday morning it was right up in the top of one of the pines and singing its little heart out. Lovely. The garden is in full bloom at the moment, before the real heat of summer kicks-in. The butterflies are limited in type, but plentiful in numbers with wall-browns (like a dusty-brown red-admiral) and large whites (exactly as sounds) fluttering about. The large whites are easily seen, even 200m up the mountain-side as they stand out against the green of the trees. The wall-browns are much more inconspicous as they merge with the ... dust! On the (replacement) bouganvillea in the courtyard, I spotted this bee. Well, it actually followed me around the garden for a while, demanding to be snapped, so eventually I took it. I had asked my hornet-fancier pal what this might be (or might bee), but he said he wasn´t too "up" on bees (and when I looked, there are actually hundred of "types"). For me this is a large naked bumble bee with an amiable manner and a predisposition to want to be the centre of attention. We shall name it Jamie. Amidst all the wildlife, I managed to obtain a new lime tree, following the demise of the old one earlier in the year. Gardener Daniel volunteered to remove the old stump, but probably wished he hadn´t as he was heaving and straining at it for a couple of hours in the heat of the day. Still he reckons he is a martial-arts expert, so it was good training for him. He was supposed to come and put in the new one, but had some car problems, so I did it myself (a lot easier than removal). It is already quite sturdy and bearing some fruit (which i would bloody well hope as it was 90€), so hoping that it will be a productive part of the garden in short order (and while we wait for the little lime bear in the courtyard to reach its potential)

One afternoon this week, and in a fit of idiocy, I started "moving a few things around" in the basement. We had purged the "car parking" surrounds a few months ago and this "garden tools and long-things" area was always going to be next on the list. Anyway, G soon came and joined in, and in the space of a couple of hours we had carried almost everything outside - including moving one of the cars, as one parking space was immediately needed as decanting space with temporary tables and piles of "stuff". We completely filled the "pool-patio" area, the pool-side, the path outside the garage door - to such an extent I video´ it all as it really looked like we had emptied a tardis - it seemed impossible that it had all come from one small section of the basement. G (naturally) started painting the walls as soon as I had moved all the wooden racks and dismantled them (ok, disconnected them from each other), also when I had removed all the stuff that was hanging on the walls (and everything that could be hung had been hung). I had taken the "spare wood and long things" out a few weeks ago when I was looking for something, so that was fairly easy. The overall plan was to get rid of anything we didn´t need , either to the bin or, if it was metalllic to the guy we know as "Metal Mickie" who has a shagged old car with a bedframe on the roof and who goes around collecting anything metallic he can sell. Unfortunately for those who live near there, his "disassembly workshop" is a bit of land behind the old sales office for the Miramar apartments (halfway to the Niño) - actually right opposite the main bins (which is convenient for almost everyone except the neighbours really). He is a real grafter and actually provides a service and even the local bin-men drop stuff off for him Anyway, one one of the early trips to the bins (dropping some wooden wine boxes, guttering, drainpipe and formica panels which I wonder why I kept), I spoke to him and told him I had some stuff he could have. We swapped ´phone numbers and I went back to purging and him to hammering (note, when all you have is a hammer, funny how everything looks like a nail). Yesterday (day two) we decided that the two(!) spare gas barbecues could go, along with the Syrian barbecue and spare barbecue grill plates and associated tools (but don´t worry, I kept the Syrian kebab skewers and the smoker / barbecue and the gas one on the kitchen patio). I called Mickey him and he appeared within minutes. Somehow he managed to get the 3-burner barbecue into the back of the car, but unfortunately all the rocks and cat litter (don´t ask) fell out. He was most apologetic and, even before I got the brush and pan out, he had been on his hands and knees and had cleaned everything up. Next he managed to get the 2-burner in to the car through the back doors, then and old and very heavy ladder onto the roof. Many other bits of odd metal disappeared into his car too, then he went off happy as a sand-boy. Later we took some more stuff to the bins and I asked him whether he had any way of using or selling off odd bits we had destined for the rubbish, despite some being totally unused. Turned out that he was happy with that stuff too as he had a mate somewhere who dealt in "any old stuff". So, happy us with clean and tidy "garden" section of garage, happy planet as we managed to recycle most things (the wine boxes, drainpipes and formica had gone within hours) and happy recycler in the form of Metal Mickey (who I now know is named Salvadore - or Salvage-adore as he shall be renamed).

Today was a good day for the household, as G was given her first jab. I have mentioned before how the obfuscacion had made it impossible to find out when you were likely to get the vaccine, but I had been checking the online system on a twice-daily basis, hoping to catch the moment when they decide to "do" her age-group (which seemed to be at the very back of the queue). A couple of days ago, I went online and they actually offered her an appointment for a jab - in La Cala de Mijas - which is 15km away on the coast, but, no matter, a jab is a jab wherever it is given (and my experience in the pueblo was not a recommendation for their organisational skills). Checked the health centre down there in La Cala was where I thought (a newish place, but I had taken a friend there a couple of times a couple of years ago). The road name tallied, so all OK, but also "spoke" on whatsapp to another pal who had gone down there to get himself sorted, and he even told me which queue we should be in. Anyway, we got there in plenty of time and the people in the first queue pointed to the further queue (we had expected) for vaccines. Mainly Brits, and a lot with papers to register, but hey-ho. After about 15 or so minutes with only a few feet of forward movement, G spotted that there was actually someone doing some control inside and occasionally coming out of the door, so I wondered over and asked him when we could expect to get the 10:59 jab, as it was 10:55. He looked at the appointment and said"not here": "What! - it says there La Cala - even Avenida Sierra de las Nieves in bold". No, you must go to Las Lagunas" (essentially Fuengirola). Jesus. Back in car and down to the place where we knew they had been doing jabs in Las Lagunas. G checked the appointment paper and agreed with my reasoning for La Cala, but also spotted a smaller-type sentence with "Cortiijo de Elias" - and she thought that might be the "dancing centre" near the Seur wagon-circle car park (We know it as that because the Seur delivery vans meet there at lunchtime, park in a circle with rear-doors inwards, then "pass the parcel" to reschedule the afternoon drop-offs). We were less than 5 minutes late, but no real issue, as there was a queue of at least 60 people in front of us. Looonnnnnng wait and shuffling forward. After 20 minutes, asked the marshal if we were in the right queue (and right place) and he said yes. There seemed to be a parallel queue which was racing through people and eventually we understood what was happening. There were two lines, one fast one for Las Lagunas people and the other (very long and slow one) for La Cala and Mijas Pueblo bunnies. God knows why or what they were thinking. Nothing anywhere as you get to the place to tell you where to go, but when you have been in the queue for 25 minutes you come to this small hand-written sign telling you. It basically tells the people in the queue that they are in the La Cala / Mijas (pueblo) queue. Thanks for that. At least my chat with the marshal meant that I was allowed to take G in as her interpreter! 30 minutes later we actually got into the hall and were immediately ushered into a booth where a girl behind a computer checked G´s details (more than happened in the pueblo), then a nurse gave her a Pfizer jab while the clerical one printed a paper for the second appointment - and told her to sit outside for 15 minutes in case of any after-effects. Very efficient and very quick, so why such a long and slow queue was strange. I gave G two minutes (consideration incarnate), then assisted her to the car, reckoning that I was with her as nurse and guide should there be an woozy fits. Home in high glee, to find the jab is already recorded on her digital file. Not long to go now for us to be able to go out and enjoy ourselves (although I think I might prolong the lock-in beyond all normal limits, I actually prefer it).

Today the highlight of the year transpired within 20 seconds of our door (and lasted about as long) - yes, the main cycle race went past. Not the Vuelta a España, but the Vuelta a Andalucia - but we still had most of the name teams ( if not the start riders who are all in Italy for the Giro). In reality, the cyclists were not the main event, as the Guardia Civil must have had most of the Andalucian rozzers and their motorbikes and 4x4s zooming around the course. (Not to mention a helicopter or two and about a dozen large vans). We had two officers posted at the top of our road to ensure no one drove out of our place or came out of the stables at Juan´s. We amused ourselves while we were waiting listening to them - and noting that one actually coughed in exactly the same way as the horse in the field. They both had radios, but spent the whole 30 or so minutes we were up there shouting to each other about the "colour of the flags". All pretty mysterious, until we sussed that somewhere about the 50th motorbike, there was one with a green flag - then a few more the same, then a few more flagless. Great excitement ensued when one passed with a yellow flag, but that proved to be the first of a flock with that colour. In the meantime, the coughing copper had obviously stimulated the equine residents of the parcela next to Lothar and a little foal poked its head above the parapet, wondering where the other horse was. Eventually, and after another cavalcade of motorbikes, medical cars, ambulances, radio vehicles etc, etc, a motorbike with a red flag came past. Great excitement now! A haitus, then a bike, then another, then another - G was clapping while I was filming and the copper was coughing. The nothing. Then a few more cars and motorbikes. Then the 120-ish strong peloton - hooray! We tried to get back across the road, but the (non-coughing) copper pulled us back - just as well as there were yet more outriders, vans and cars. Evntually we managed to get back dow the road . then turned and saw one poor bugger go past about 10 minutes after the rest - and they have only been on the road less than an hour.

Well, after all that hassle, I now have a Digital Certificate - of a sort. I went into the Town Hall for my appointment - actually I was rigorously checked before I was allowed into the Town Hall, as the copper checked my appointment on his list, then got me to stand in a place while they took a picture and tested my temperature, then I had to go through a metal detector arch / screener - just to get to the counter next to the door. A counter totally devoid of hand sanitiser, as was the entrance gestapo hall. The registration only took a couple of minutes, but the girl p***d me off by asking if I had my passport - what´s the bloody point of the TIE registration card I thought. Seeing my incredulity at the passport question, she said "any photo I/d such as a driving licence". I know it is difficult to get a TIE these days, but strange that they obviously don´t expect guiris to have one. Anyway, went home and logged on to get the cert downloaded - which "has to be done on the same system", so I was using the Dell with Ubuntu and Firefox. It all worked well and downloaded in seconds and I was immediately able to access my medical records. Success! Well, no. I can use the certificate, I can back it up to a USB drive, I can see it on the system and I even managed to verify it with the provider. Can I save it and upload it onto my Mac - can I hell as like. There is something weird about it as it doesn´t require the password I allocated it when I try to use it or copy it - and it does show an error on the medical site, but then lets me in. I spent a day and a half trying everything I knew (don´t laugh) and everything I could find on the web, but basically it is bent. Working but bent. What that means is that when I want to access my meds or anything quasi-legal, I have to drag out the little old Dell and use Ubuntu and Firefox. Oh, and I don´t think I dare upgrade the operating system or browser versions as that could screw it further. Not sure whether I am happy or not really - I hate things like this (but then theres´s twelve years worth of complaints online from other people who have tried to use this system - so just getting it to work is an achievement). G´s pal apparently asked her if it was something she should get (= something I should do for her). Sorry Mel - my sanity will not permit it, so there´s no bloody chance - your system is a Mac like mine and it would be utterly impossible to risk doing another on that little Dell beast.

Here in Spain, they have adopted a thing called a "digital certificate" which is stored on your computer and can be used to endorse correspondence, payments and even access medical records. For the locals, it can be added to their National Identity Card, but it is actually not a lot of use for an expat, which is why almost no-one I know has heard of it, let alone got one. I only set ours up when the IT guy I was helping suggested I should get one. I did, for myself and G, but only ever used mine once to endorse a tax payment and occasionally to check the dates for my prescriptions (not available for normal password access to the website for some reason). It was an absolute bitch to set up, not least because it had very specific, and antiquated, IT requirements. Everything had to be done on the same PC over a period of a couple of weeks - and the PC had to specific versions of Microsoft Internet Explorer; any / all anti-virus and security software inactivated; and a weird and wonderful piece of software downloaded from the government site which contravened every rule in the security handbook. Having set up the antique system, there was a strange procedure requiring you to log onto the site and give them your data, whereupon they sent an email with a 6-digit code. You then had to take this into the Town Hall and get it authenticated by someone who also printed a paper licence. Next you had to log back in with this data and then download a bunch of software, which was then moved into a cetificate-area. Oh, and all this on a site which was all in spanish and didn´t have any error messages if things went wrong. There was no place for Apple systems, but they did allow you to use Firefox browser, but that had to be version 88 which was about 4 years out of date even then. It really was a total heap of crap, but, iit did become a challenge which I eventually overcame. In the middleof last year, that is five years later, they told me I had to renew them both and implied that it was quite simple. Oh no it wasn´t. Somehow I managed to renew G´s, but mine just hung up. My spanish IT pal spent about 4 hours on it, but eventually decided it was somehow corrupted and I would have to start from scratch. I decided not to bother. WIth the vaccination cerificates likely becoming a necessity here soon, and knowing that it would be on the medical website requiring digitally certified access, I thought maybe I would have another go especially as they now allow the use of Mac and Safari. Well, they say they do, but it would not work, even when I stuck a Firefox V88 browser up At one point I realised that the site had a warning that parts of it were inoperable during the morning (the parts I wanted too), but even after that period it would not work. In desperation I dragged out a little Dell netbook I bought 10 or so years ago and onto which I had loaded the Ubuntu operating system when Microsoft stopped support anything that would run on it. Luckily Ubuntu uses Firefox, so ignoring the version issue, I gave it a whirl. Bloody hell - it started to work. I should mention that the Town Hall had provided a flow chart to undertake the procedure, but it had missed out some salient points. One (minor) issue was that the process would seemingly hang, but it was because for some reason there was no automatic scroll on the site and I had to guess when there might be more data or an answer and scroll down manually just-in-case. Hmmm. Anyway, and after much swearing and many cups of tea, I eventually got an email with a 6-digit code and I have an appointment at the Town Hall in the middle of next week. Don´t be fooled into thinking that I have cracked it - I remember that the next part is possibly worse.

Yesterday was absolutely beautiful, with temperatures in the mid-20s and so nice that we even had the first BBQ of the year. Later as we were watching tv, G opened the curtains so that we could see the lightning out to sea. Emboldened by the wine and the fact that it certainly looked to be a few miles out to sea, I went up on the top balcony and took some video on my iphone. It was absolutely beautiful with a huge amount of activity. Nothing close to us, but a friend down on the coastal plain was telling me this morning about the thunder he had heard "overhead" . Being down there, he obvioisly couldn´t see what we could - and he missed a treat. Above is a 1 minute clip from the footage I took. Personally, I love it. We were talking about it again this morning and reminiscing about Brunei, where thunder storms were pretty much a nightly event that shook the whole (asbestos) s**t house. Dear old Tara-dog used to hide under the desk in our bedroom, despite her being Brunei-born and bred. We also remembered one of our first trips to Singapore when we were up on the 24th floor of the Oriental and looking out over the harbour and waterfront. An incredible tropical storm blew in and lightning was bouncing around the ships, office buildings and sky. Truly magnificent. Not quite as entertaining when you are in a similar storm, but sitting in a plane at the end of Changi runway waiting to take off in it. That was just bloody terrifying.

.... but of course I did, just to be daft, and paid for it. Driving down to the jab-centre for second vaccination this morning and said to G "well, one thing is, it cannot possibly be any worse than last time". Well, it bloody was. I had spoken to pal David yesterday and he told me he was called early afternoon Friday for his scheduled 2000 evening appointment. "Can you come now" - "sure thing"and off he went. He reckoned it was being done slightly differently (don´t think they expect a reaction on the 2nd jab, so throw you out), but basically he was done and dusted down at the Las Luganas centre in 15 mins - and even able to make the dinner date he thought he would have to forego. Agreeably surprised to see a handwritten sign with "Vaccunas arriba", so up the stairs I went, to find about half a dozen people waiting. Luckily the upstairs waiting room is almost double the size of the one below, which also caters for "walk-ins" trying to get a doctor´s appointment, so all seemingly ok. I asked a guy what time his appointment was and he said 11100. Hmm - I am at 1139 and it is 1130 now. We sit there and the place starts to fill up. After about another 20 minutes, a nurse appears and says they have no vaccines, bu they are "on the way", .and when they arrive it will be "jab, jab, jab, jab" as she makes stabbing motions We sit there and the place starts to fill up even more There is probably room for about 20 if sitting well spaced, but soon we go past that and get the standers and lurkers, so probably up around 30. I sit tight in the centre of my row-of-3 seats next to the open window and below the "mantenga distanicia" notice. An hour after my supposed apointment, the male nurse comes up the stairs with a box, shouting "tenemos Papa" (he probably mistook the steam coming out of my ears for white Papal smoke) Now we are definitely over-full and it is impossible to hear your name as the pueblo bunnies are treating it like a social event - with the usual face up to face conversations accompanied by loud ´phone conversations. People who came late go in and leave clutching their arms. Eventually I get called and go to the door - which he closes in my face. Then a bloke comes out and he calls me in. Wham, bam, thank you maám. 20 seconds I guess. I ask if they have anything to show you have had the vaccine (as I have my old vaccine passports with me) and he gives my a piece of paper with an "app" address on it. I leave (after more than an hour and a half of waiting) and call for my (very patient) chauffeuse. Get home and try the app. Bloody hell, it works - and I now have a printed certificate on paper and a QZ code on my mobile Basically, technology good, but people not so.

During my times in foreign climes, I was renowned for my ability to bring rain to the driest locations (it not being necessary in the Bruneian rain forest) and wrecked the Oman golf course on a couple of occasions with those talents (and during the relocation of all the computer equipment, but that was seen as pure brilliance as I had ensured all the equipment was wrapped in polythene sheeting despite it being the height of summer). Unfortunately, this fascinating ability (probably due to my Mancunian roots) is not accompanied by the ability to stop rain. I was happy to get a few splodges earlier in the month in order to test my new weather station, but now it is getting a bit boring. Last night we sat in the lounge and put the blinds up so that we could watch the lightning (amazingly, a couple of thousand tv channels and films, and still nothing worth watching). So, this weekend has been a washout - only ameliorated by the fact that it is not that cold (which is fortunate, as we have used up all the firewood). I have two pallets that I use for kindling, but also failed to smash them apart when I had the opportunity and hammers and electric saws would probably irritate my german neighbour too much (were it just the spanish ones, I would probably get the tools out). I could have called my woodman and had some delivered during the week, but a reasonable order would probably have left us with a cubic meter of wood to house over the summer, so I chose not to. I could also have bought a sack or two from the petrol station, but forgot while I was out yesterday ( but if she- who-controls-the-flames does get chilly, I guess I will be down there muy rapido). I always, and naively, think of April showers as being an english invention and that April is a dry month down here, but I definitely think the seasons are changing, as every year we get to this point and I start to think that summer will hit us overnight soon "as this weather is not normal". But now it seems that it is.