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Just doing “my” christmas cards this morning (not many, 1 from me, 1 from cat) and noticed the shop had put them in a brown paper bag. Thought to myself “that looks useful, I´ll keep it” Then thought to self “thats a bit too much like my mother” (she had drawers full of carrier bags, envelopes and paper bags) Remembered some joke about old people and paper bag collection hmm Went to G and said “look - a brown paper bag - a bit retro to get one of those with a purchase, I will bin it” She (who must be obeyed). “no, I can always use that” Me “bloody hell, you are turning into my mother” Cue explosion ... but I think we kept the bag

The third eye People talk and write of the third eye, or ajna, as if it were an additional sense. In Hindu tradition it is something that can be found and made more powerful through meditation. In yoga it is regarded as the sixth chakra. It connects practitioners to their subconscious and allows them to look out on the world with a different perspective. They always mention it as the person looking out, but what if it is actually cosmic consciousness looking out through you - or maybe even inwards into you

All systems go today as we are in Phase 3. Yippee. I went out in the car to undertakes some tasks, but failed abysmally as both people I went to see were out. At least I managed to buy a new extending pool-pole, but then had to get out 90% of my tool kit to get all the "ends" in the right place. There are few things better than doing a job when you have all the tools to hand. My Lidl´s electric saw and drill came good, especially when I bothered to get the (No2 and Lidl´s) Workmate out. Late last night I got involved in an email exchange with some bug-hunters (good site for anyone - Whatsthatbug.com ) - I sent them a picture of the weird beast(s) that appear about this time each year and called it "an orange-haired something". I am hopeful they will tell me what it is, but slightly apprehensive it might be something I don´t want This was inspired by my trip over to feed Tingy yesterday when I saw the most beautiful long-tailed butterfly / dragonfly and was trying to find out what it was. I hunted through my books and eventually decided it was close to being a thread lacewing (nemoptera bipennis) - I couldn´t get a photo as it flittered in the grass, but was as close to seeing a little fairy as you can get. Gauzy wings and streamers with roundels on the end. I could not find it in my books, but then realised I had a note with almost exactly the same beast, dating from when I had found one dead in the pool and decided it was so pretty it deserved recording (14 years ago almost to the day). Obviously I had not been totally convinced the insect in the book was exactly the same, so I had left my note in that page. I added yesterday´s date and put the note back. Apparently some varieties are called Spoonwing lacewings. One interesting addendum to that is that the grubs of this beautiful thing are as ugly as anything you might find in a bad cheese-induced nightmare (hmm, just had cheese and no booze this evening, so watch that upload itself in my dreams). It would somehow be quite fitting if the orange-haired something turned out to be an earlier stage of the same beast (but even I don´t believe in that sort of coincidence, do I?) Anyway, as I was in the site, I checked to see if there were any updates on things I´d noticed previously - and found a long discourse on the wasp I found in the pool last year (that pool is a real trap for interesting insects). Apparently the beast was of major interest to an entomologist up in Valencia who had even written a paper about them as they are an invasive species from the far east (lots of those about, hey?) and it is actually a "black shield hornet", Vespa Bicolor, native to south-eastern Asia, which has been accidentally introduced into Malaga province (Spain), where it has been living for several years now". Anyway, I sent a copy of this photo to the guy and told him where and when I had found it. He replied with thanks and I am currently waiting for him to tell me whether they should be notifiable (and thus get destroyed) - possibly a response that will be a long time coming as his nom-de-plume is "Waspfan"!! * now in "regular" correspondence with Leopoldo and it turns out that, while he is very interested in stinging / flying insects, he is all in favour of destroying these invaders. Just sent him an update 16th Dec to say seen another in pool, another around pool and one near berberis - over consecutive days. I just wonder where the nest is and how far they fly

Finally managed to get my appointment with the barber this morning, although I had to wait in the street for over half an hour as I was early and he ran late with other customers. I refused his invitation to wait inside his tiny shop - why take that risk? As one does with barbers, we discussed life, death, covid and philosophy. Luckily he spent a couple of years in the UK and is happy to practice his english with me. On finishing, he tried to spray some stuff on my hair, but I refused - whereupon he grabbed a bottle of something and sprayed that instead. God it was vile - and clingy. Walked back to my car past the "cerrado los martes" Niño and went in the downstairs sink and rinsed my face, neck and hair. Still smelling that damn stuff though. I have been intending to do the annual (=this year, but almost never before) pruning of the grapevine, and I decided today was the day. I had been putting it off trying to find some photographs of how it should look afterwards, but struggled to find anything except for vineyards. Decided to trust in my natural arboreal heritage (again). This is how it looked before I started (but after I cut it back in August). The spanish believe it should only be cut during a waning moon in late December - I think you cut it when you have the time. I have also been waiting for my "pruner´s thumb" to get better after the marathon pruning of the almond, lemon, avocado and bouganvillea. Anyway, got out the stepladder and some garden scissors I found in G´s gardening trug. Swiftly went back in and fetched the 2´ long double-handed loppers as that vine is not only nobbly but tough. A few goes with the loppers and I went for the electric saw - this was becoming a battle of wills. I then spent two hours scurrying up and down ladders and hacking, sawing and sweeping. At one point I allowed my stiff-necked gaze to go up beyond the vine and saw 3 eagles circling - that or they were buzzards waiting for me to fall off the ladder. During the purge, I actually found three small bunches of grapes - in far better shape than the normal crop which is always damaged by some"thing" - I tried one and it was palatable, but spat it out anyway. Now covered in sawdust, leaves and tiny beasts (the ones that damage the crop I guess). I threw all my outer clothes in a heap and stuck my head under the tap (again). Flushed with the enthusiasm of completing an unloved task, I decided to go the whole hog and clean the pool. Thence 45 minutes spent hoovering, followed by an equal amount of time cleaning the filter and trying to get the ´o´-rings seated properly to stop water leaks. It may seem insignificant, but that was a "couple of soldiers moved forward" type of day for me. Only problem is that it has compounded my stiff neck and I can already feel the leg cramps which will now plague me through the night. There is always a price to pay (nine euros plus a tip, if you must know).

As I delve into the background to advaita vedanta, I have been interested to find thatI already have some of the books mentioned. Autobiography of a Yogi, The Essential Teachings of Hinduism, The Bhagavad Gita, The Power of Now and a book on Sri Ramakrishna to mention a few. The interesting thing is that I have read all, or parts, of them and kept them as being of interest. Now I am checking back and finding they are now actually relevant to what I am researching, not just the general background I originally thought they were.I wonder what else I have that will resurface to help me? At some point, I will manage to insert the list of books I have

As is the human body so is the cosmic body, As is the human mind so is the cosmic mind, As is the microcosm so is the macrocosm, As is the atom so is the universe. – from the Upanishads Sankara held that reality is ultimately one and that the apparent plurality of the individual selves and entities of empirical existence is illusory: what seems to be an individual self, jivatma or atman, is in fact not essentially different from the one Self (Brahman), just as the space contained in an individual jug or pitcher is not different from space as a whole.

I know it was Kubler-Ross who came up with the sequence of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance for times of stress. I recognise the pattern, but have always prefered the simplicity of SARA - Shock - Anger - Resistance - Acceptance. Whichever, I have to admit to being in some sort of strange "Suspended Animation" mode as I am unable to make any effort to do anything constructive mentally. No thinking, painting or meditating - just self-occupation with trivia in the garden, around the house or in communicating rubbish with friends, putting on weight due to vast over-consumption of booze and chocolate whilst watching crappy american tv crime series (and I guess a lot of us are in that boat) Of course, no one wants to accept the reality of the current pandemic situation, no one wants to talk about it in any meaningful way, and the "british" thing to do is to make dark jokes about it. What I can´t understand is why I can´t get into meditation / deep thinking mode. I just cant´t "switch on" at all - which is not like me - thus possibly Shock, but more likely Denial. I am not frightened of dying - not happy about any associated pain or discomfort . but not worried about dying. At my age, it is the next "stage" anyway. I am slightly concerned about the way in which all my background wishes are / have come to fruition. Trivial pet hates such as airbnb, mass tourism and pollution have changed Spain beyond recognition: potential concerns such as health issues, cats, friends are mainly resolved - and at the highest level, the world is shaking off humanity like the infestation it has proved to be - everything is just slotting into place. It really is a bit "fin de siecle", but without the opening of any new era. Far too many times in my life, things have happened as I wanted them to - and every time I have wondered whether I am influencing my own reality - and always thought, "no, that is just not possible...but certainly weird... and maybe..." Well, with my "discovery" of advaita vedanta, I can now claim that it is all my own reality. No one else is involved. No one else has any control. It is just consciousness, with me as the observer. Somehow I have to get into a zone where I can get closer to the core of this reality. I realise the phase I am actually in - it is Acceptance ............. but what I really want is Awareness. ....and I can guess you are thinking that I am losing it - but I am not delusional or in any way psychotic, just someone trying to work out what is happening in his reality (and if you think about it, all you have is your own reality too)

Impermanence, aging, and illness Do not give people a set time. One may be alive in the morning, Then dead at night, Changing worlds in an instant. We are like the spring frost, Like the morning dew Suddenly gone. - Kuei-Shan (771-854)

All of the following are on my Kindle. Now I did try very hard to find a way of exporting the list in some sort of structured way, but it was an abject failure, so I just had to go with screenshots. As you will see, I could not even include a numbering system, but did at least sort them in order of title. Call yourself an IT man (no, a trainee philosopher). I have just looked to see if there is a way of highlighting any of the books, but no. In some ways, the following are more interesting as I managed to find them and download samples prior to ordering (or forgetting). A few of them are the electronic copies of "proper" books I already own, but I fancied having them in a "portable" format. Things get worse from here. This is what is in my "iBooks". Actually, when I went to make this list there was nothing there! I had to go on the web to find out that Mac had changed the way books works and I had to find them and incorporate them in the new app (on my iMac (despite them being on my phone). From there to multiple and merged screenshots. A real dog´s breakfast. Again a few "portable" duplicates. The digital booklet is a copy of "Mission" by Patrick Tilley, whilst the Williams_1902 is actually A Varieties of Religious Experience by William James. I have been given a repository of hundreds (thousands?) of books on "Calibre" and have found that the easiest way of getting them to be portable is to do a simple drag and drop into iBooks, as the Kindle transfer option is a real pain (and of all those 000s books, about a dozen are worth having) --- and as you will see, I found out that you can edit a photo once it is up, so had a go at deleting the cat´s fur that was in the bottom right quadrant. Not a great success, but the beginnings of a new technique

The title is intended to suggest that I have, at last, managed to get our TIE cards - thank heavens for that. What we have now is almost exactly what we initially received 20 years ago - that is a plasticised card with our names, photos and identity numbers on them - basically what he British government have failed to implement - an Identity Card. The original cards lasted 5 years and after the second renewal they changed it to a piece of A4 paper, which you were meant to carry with you at all times (along with your passport, car registration and MOT documents and car insurance if you were in a car). They later added a "push out" element to that paper apparently, but not in our era. Anyway, Brexit has resulted in us going back to square one - but at least the card having a photo and signature makes it actually useful to prove your identity. At least this new card lasts for 10 years (I just hope I do). When we went down to the comisaria de policia, there was a queue of about seventy people with one lone copper trying to marshal them into a single line. Why people are queueing when everything is now meant to be "by appointment" is anyone´s guess. Luckily there was an alternate queue for those with appointments, and, in the end, we were both in and out with our new cards before the time of the first appointment! Most of our friends are following in the same path of getting this card, but many Brits seem to be hoping that they can stay under the radar after Brexit period finally ends. Some hope. Brexit struck again yesterday when Barclays informed me that my Barclaycard will be cancelled as of next month as I don´t live in the UK. I bet the local Barclays bank I have been with since the early sixties will be next (unless, in typical banking fashion, they want to keep on receiving my pensions). Received a phone call this week from an ex-golfer I haven´t seen for about 5 years. Turns out he has been in UK (S Wales) since start of lockdown - baled out on final plane before end of flights in March and had been thinking of coming back as he "left the fridge on". "Open" I could understand, "on" doesn´t seem a problem to me. Told him spain much as the UK, but with better weather, and that the flight was his most risky period. He asked about the health system and I was able to tell him about the ´phone appointment system. His call was actually before I went to the clinic for my abortive attempt to use the ´phone appointment system, or I don´t think he would ever come back, fridge problems or not.

Most of the time, I seem to find most of my interesting insects in, or around, the pool. Yesterday I rescued what I thought was a moth and, before I put it on a plant, gave it a quick overview. Hmm - not what I had expected at all - quite a bold tigerish banding and very furry antlers, plus long tail. Strange enough for me to make a quick sketch of it when I got inside - not having my camera during the rescue. I looked in the moths part of my book, but to no avail. The body was quite "ant-lion"-like, but the wings were not. When I later returned with the phone to take a picture, it had gone. I searched on the web and turned up a picture of a mayfly, which was the closest insect in size and colour. Apparently they are around throughout the summer months, not just in May. The female dies as it lays it eggs, before or after she throws herself (bit of poetic licence there) to her death in the flowing stream - or, in this case, my pool. Not totally convinced as mayflies aren´t even listed in my Mediterranean Wildlife book but are at least listed in one of my insect identifier website as "Efímera" in spanish. Aptly named, as they reputedly only live for a day. ... and just to be on the safe side, I added another tablet and increased the level of chlorine powder in the pool, so that their day might be even shorter.

All this balloney about "cultural appropriation" really gets on my t**s nerves (well, no surprise in that then?) as just about everything in the world has been "appropriated" from somewhere / someone else. I remember when I first checked out where my name originated, the book said it came from the old testament. Just about every name there is has been "stolen". Almost every muslim has "Mohammed" in there, which must have had the same sort of background from the sons of Abraham pre-Islam, because he was probably not the first with that name. Mary too. Peter. Jesus - there are loads of them from the religious books. Or flowers - when will the Lilies of the field start demanding reparation for abuse of their name? No wonder a certain "style" of parent started to invent names - a bit like the rappers - they were all ahead of the game (much as they thought, or, more likely, didn´t think). Restaurants are stuffed - anything named after a town, region or landmark in a "foreign" country will have to change - I mean who wants to eat in somewhere named after a looted diamond or a mausoleum? The latest joke is that one of the "fans" of the Exeter Rugby Club has started a petition to get rid of the "chiefs" tag - along with all the head-dresses, tom-toms, tomahawks, face-paint and indian-chief motifs, logos and accoutrements. Now I am all for that, as I could never quite work out why the rugby premiership in the UK decided that every team should have a nickname and logo. Sale styled themselves the "sharks", but purely for alliterative purposes I guess, as who the hell wants to see a fish on a rugby field? The devil will be asking for payment too (doesn´t he always?) with Manchester United also know as the "Red Devils", Lincoln with its "imps", there is a beer named "old Nick" and almost everything in Ireleand is named after one goblin or another. I am sure I drove through the "Devil´s Punchbowl" in Scotland when I was a kid. The BLM movement is also causing ructions with its demands for changes to language (and statues, and place-names and anything else they find offensive (like the police). So when we get right down to the real (unmentionable bits in bottom of boat) it will all end in tears. I see the technology industry have jumped on the bandwagon (I can´t say juggernaut) and said they will drop the terminology "master" and "slave" - that will cause all sort of IT b***kouts major outages, also absolutely screw the car industry if it is generally adopted, as every vehicle in the world using hydraulics has a m**** and a s**** cylinder. Anyway, give all these appropriations back and start using some neologisms (and that is definitely appropriated from Latin). Actually, start using some other language than English, as, apart from appropriating half the wealth and style from the Empire, we also nicked about half the words in the English language too. ... and while I am thinking about it, why have we never received any reparations from the Romans, Normans, Vikings, Celts etc for all their rape and plunder?. We poor Anglo-Saxons are just victims. Oops - Anglo and Saxon have been appropriated from somewhere (as was the name England I guess) Hey - WE HAVE BEEN OPPRESSED! Please send donations to the following -----